Going on one of the best dates ever

Is it sad that I’ve only been on five dates in my life, and that each one of them occurred within the past six months?

Dating. As my parents knew it.

With that in mind, I recently went on the best date of my life. And it was better than the time I was wined and dined in France (twice); WAAAY better than the time the other person stopped talking to me to focus on a best friend who walked in to the bar we were getting drinks at. This “date” if you can call it that (and I’m definitely doing that) was everything you could want in a first date: great conversation, intellectual stimulation, actually enjoying the other person’s presence, finding that person even more attractive every second that passed. In other words, while it was nothing out of the ordinary in its setup, the experience was extraordinary itself.

Let me lay the groundwork: it all started when I met this person on Tinder. Yes, I know, you’re probably judging the hell out of me right now, but Tinder really has some good uses (and it is way better than those Blendr and Grindr apps). I personally need to be attracted to someone’s looks before I can even focus on personality. There has to be some redeeming feature that helps that person stand out. If it isn’t there, I just know that there will probably not be a future since I won’t be fully attracted to that person. And yes, I know that most of you now think I’m a shallow person, but the way I see it, if I have to spend the rest of my life with this person I’m planning to date (because I don’t usually date recreationally), I have to be attracted to them physically. So, with that in mind, I met someone on Tinder. This person was really cute; not a bombshell, but definitely a looker. After we both matched up (when both you and the other person agree that the other is attractive), we began to message each other. This person seemed legitimate, telling me about dreams, goals and college careers. Needless to say, we ended up chatting a lot through the service. Finally, this person asked me for my number, and I messaged it over.

How people find potential suitors in today’s age… Read this post from Thought Catalog which really sums up the nature of dating in the 21st century.

From here, our conversations became more intimate, sharing details about our daily lives and even talking about stupid things that don’t necessarily matter. These conversations definitely opened my eyes to what made this person tick. And I definitely liked what I was discovering.

And now comes the kicker: this person does not live in Louisiana; the person was just visiting family for a couple of weeks when we both discovered each other on the dating app. So, in our haste to meet and see if we were truly compatible, this person suggested that we meet in person. This person was going to travel to Baton Rouge just to hang out and go on a date.

Having only been on four dates by this time, I was apprehensive at first. I mean, traveling over two hours to spend an afternoon (and evening) with me put a lot of pressure on one outing to make sure I showed this person a good time. What if this person came to BR and then we realized that neither of us were at all compatible? Or even worse, what if this person had been catfishing me the WHOLE time? But, we had exchanged pictures, become Facebook friends and texted incessantly. I figured that I couldn’t have mutual friends (50 at least) with a profile that was created to con me. So, I threw caution to the wind and told the person to travel on over. And being the southern gentleman I am, I offered my couch for lodging if the person needed a place to stay 😉

Onto the actual date: this person ended up coming over just after 5 p.m. on Wednesday, right after I finished work (you know, since I’m a part of the real world and all…). The person and I just talked for two hours, getting to know each other much more than we already did. From there, we drove over to a restaurant and had dinner; the restaurant itself was nothing worth writing about, but this person had a huge craving for fried pickles, something I have yet to truly understand lol.

It wasn’t the food or the place that made the dinner amazing; it was the company. Between the pre-dinner talk and the actual dinner conversation, I became more and more attracted to this great person who loved to care for others; literally, this person is currently in school to help children who are in hospitals deal with the transition and scariness associated with long stays. Helping others, especially children, is so sexy. And, to top it off, this person stayed engaged in the conversation and asserted how attractive this person found me. In other words, there were no guessing games involved – this person pretty much made it known that they enjoyed the conversation, my company and everything associated with the evening.

Side note: I really enjoyed not having to play games the whole night. When will people just grow up and stop all the childishness? This person was really mature in approaching life, which translated into me finding this person even more attractive.

The games we play during courtship… They suck.

An even bigger side note: is it bad that I became more attracted to this person after seeing many parallels between both of us? I literally recognized much of my personality in this person, and it turned me on. I know that sounds like textbook narcissism, but it could also be something more psychological… Maybe even that being around someone so similar to yourself helps solidify that the way you live your life or even the things you value are indeed worth valuing? It could serve as a second check mark of sorts to reconfirm that I live positively and that others value the same things as me… But then again, I could be full of shit and just be attracted to certain characteristics in someone else that I view as responsible and great.

After this, we ended up watching one of my favorite films, (500) Days of Summer. The night ended on a high note, with everything falling into place.

and now…

Now, I feel like I’m in a predicament. I know that the night was amazing and that I’d want to go on another date, but this person lives in a different state. So, there is no real reason to even try to pursue something. I think the best possible path for me to take right now is to just chalk it up to a great date: one that I can use to measure the amazingness of those to come in the future. We both came together, had a great time, trusted each other and then parted when the time was right. We got what we needed at that moment. And it was beautiful. If this person lived here, this whole scenario would be very different, but alas, I guess this was just god’s way of telling me that great things can indeed happen when you least expect it.

If anything, this date has helped me realize just how I can and should be treated, and also how I can and should treat others. It also showed me that while there are amazing people that I could hit it off with easily and there are reasons that it won’t work out, it is better to live in the now and take that chance to see what could be, because you never know what may happen tomorrow or the day after. All you have for certain is this moment.

I’ll leave you with Banks‘ amazing song, “Warm Water,” which encompasses the feelings I am currently experiencing (and if you click on the link here, you can download a pretty awesome remix of the song itself).