…And they say everything happens for a reason

Story of my life haha. Also, love the “(500) Days of Summer” reference

Don’t you just hate it when things don’t go the way they’re supposed you wanted them to go?

One of the things I had told myself this semester was no significant others. I don’t have the time nor the energy to devote to another human being. It’s true; between work and college AND family, I have minuscule amounts of free time.

I stuck to that mantra for the first month; I actually got a lot of schoolwork done, finished all my assignments with time to spare and was actually enjoying myself… Until last weekend.

It was as if the gods were telling me to find somebody. And I don’t know why, but I just thought it’d be worthwhile to invest time in someone attractive with whom I could talk to about anything and everything, have fun and even watch movies (one of my all-time favorite pastimes!). But, alas, the odds were not ever in my favor — thanks Katniss and Peeta for getting my hope up.

Even on fire, Katniss and Peeta make it all look so easy… Mind you I also don’t have to deal with people trying to kill me in a tournament, so…

You know, I think it stemmed from going to all of those dumb freshmen/sophomore parties Friday night. There may have been something in the jungle juice “Hawaiian Punch” that made me think, “you know, I want to have someone significant in my life; these coupled-off people have it made. It’s time for me to have fun, too.” And that’s when it all went downhill.

So, through this discovery, I managed to “make friends” with one of my friend’s roommates and also realize that I truly did want something substantial in my life; I didn’t want to have a string of one-night-stands. That’s never been my style anyways.

In the aftermath of hanging out with some of my best friends and talking about future plans, I began to think about missed opportunities and things that could have been — I’m telling y’all right now, this is where I would stop if you care to live in the fantasy and comfort of your own head… The next part will NOT be all fluffy and happy endings, but in the end, it was so worth it.

Side note: please disregard the manic shifts from singular to plural every five seconds… I do know the difference, but I want you, the reader, to be able to relate to my story without having to change the gender of the person the whole time.

I dwelled upon one missed opportunity in particular: let’s call it my “Susan Glenn.” Now, a Susan Glenn is someone who may not have been the hottest person at your school/college, but there was just some inherent quality about him or her that drew you in. Susan has a mystique about him or her very similar to Zooey Deschanel‘s character from “(500) Days of Summer.” He or she’s Katy Perry‘s “One That Got Away,” he or she’s the one that you’d have to give a second glance because you just didn’t realize everything that makes them special.

Okay, back to the story. My Susan Glenn. I started thinking about when we met, when I actually realized how cute this person was, the moment they wowed me with their generosity and caring toward others. My Susan Glenn was the humanitarian of humanitarians. They encouraged people to be comfortable with who they are and to make sure everyone was treated equally. Yea, it was one of THOSE people.

Now, this moment wasn’t one of those “Oh, I wish I was with them right now” ones; rather, I had an “Oh, I should’ve done something about this months ago when I had a chance” moment. This thought, along with my sudden aspiration to sabotage my test week spurred me to do something totally out-of-character for me: to ask my Susan Glenn out.

It may have been the fact that I had never really asked anyone out before (and therefore have never been rejected) or even just the sheer lack of lucidity in my head after non-stop studying for my upcoming onslaught of academic assessments that made me want to do it. So after not really talking to my Susan Glenn for at least five months, I called Susan up, explained how I didn’t want to have any regrets before I left college and told them how cute I thought this Susan was and how I wanted to take them out. I was so nervous; more nervous than ANY interview or pitch I had ever done (and I’ve done a LOT of them). But, I asked my Susan out.

Alas, I told you already this story doesn’t have a great ending. Susan said that they were indeed pleasantly surprised at my balls courage in asking them out, but they’d have to check with the person they were currently texting. I figured, “I mean, I’ve waited this long to ask Susan out, a couple more days wouldn’t hurt…” And boy, was I wrong. Monday was okay. I literally woke up and could smell the roses; in other words, I woke up feeling great. Tuesday, same story. It wasn’t until Wednesday that things started to look bad, when I texted Susan asking her if we were still on.

The hours went by so slowly; I could literally feel the dread creeping up on me, consuming my whole self. Well, I finally got the response this morning telling me that Susan was sorry but it wouldn’t be fair to the guy Susan was currently texting. Again, it’s a commendable act on Susan’s part to step back.

And you know, I’m not that surprised. The stars weren’t aligned, I was just too nervous, the timing wasn’t right (and any other excuses you can think of). Either way, I think it all made sense. God works in mysterious ways, and by making me go through this whole ordeal, he’s made me see that you really just have to go out there and grab what you want; sure you may get rejected or things may not work out, but in the end, you’ll always know that you tried your best and worked toward accomplishing your goals. And of course, there are ALWAYS other fish in the sea, right?

Here’s to you, Susan Glenn: you may be amazing, but since you’re not here with me right now, it goes to show that you and I weren’t meant to get together. Take care, and don’t worry about me making things awkward if we run into each other… If they are awkward, that’s just because I’m an awkward person lol.

I’ll leave you with this song whose lyrics I once quoted to woo a girl. And yes, it worked.